Quicksand – Stuck

Stuck.  It’s a hard word to work around. Stuck. It means unable to move.  I had a colleague once who told me a joke about quicksand. He said, ‘remember when you were a kid in school, you were taught to fear quicksand.  They made it seem like it was going to be a big deal in life. Now, how many times have you had an encounter with quicksand? For most of us, zero times.’

So maybe what they were accidentally teaching us was how to avoid getting stuck.  We just didn’t listen. Today, more and more people on both sides of society are stuck.  The left is as equally responsible for it as the right maybe even more so since the left wants to be seen as the leaders of change.  To me, they are as stuck as the right.

For example, I was sitting in a restaurant in Denver a few years back and chatting with friends.  I was single and we were chatting about women. A woman walked in that immediately grabbed my attention.  Enough so to say, ‘that’s my type.’

Later on in the evening we saw the same woman at a local coffee shop and I mustered up the courage to speak to her.  It led to a few dates and ended when she said, `I like you. A lot and can see us together but I can’t date you because my friends wouldn’t stop being my friends. I am a lesbian and my identity is connected to that community.’

It was a bummer.  I had liked her. Another woman said, ‘I didn’t believe in Jesus enough.’  I thought that was a yes or no question but whatever.

It goes both ways is all I am saying.  Now, I am more on the left partly because I am A-typical.  I am short with dark hair. Even when I travel, foreigners comment that I do not look like the stereotypical American.  I am fine with it but it has led to a life on or near the fringe.

My problem with being stuck is that it stops us from being unstuck.  The more boxes we tick; the more stuck we become and it seems like this a very dangerous trend to life, health and wellness.  

So how do we unstick ourselves?  Simple. First and foremost we need to find the common denominator between us.  For all of us, it’s citizenship and being human. Then we should work down from there.  It doesn’t matter what the connector is just find it and use it to work out the solution that would equal common ground. That’s the fun part.  Yelling blindly into the wind is just boring. He said – she said. Put that stuck pattern on hold for a while.

Next, don’t be a dick unless your name is Richard, and even then you may want to think twice.  Across faiths and cultures we have the golden rule. In 2019 it should be rewritten to Don’t be a dick.  It’s hard not to. We get so caught up in thinking that we are right that we don’t think that maybe someone else could also.  Add that to your daily routine. It will build empathy and a happier world.

Last, three tenets to live by: peace, love and hope.  If you are not working towards these tenets to live by you are probably being a dick and being crappy not only to others but to yourself.  The outcome of these tenets is Joy and Happiness for you and for others. If you as an individual are joyous and happy but bring frustration and stress to others, you may want to revisit that pattern.  

In the end, we are all in this together.   We should make our brief time here together more of a party and less a competitive he said she said game of stuck and sticking to it. 

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